Ep 13: My ego death & awakening to my life purpose
In this episode, I explain the journey I went through to become the energy worker and lightworker mentor I am today. I talk about how my intuition (via the guidance of my to-be-born child) gave me the courage to leave my secure university position.
I also explore how my kid's birth date corresponds to my own astrological natal chart. In this exploration, I learned that his birth directly corresponded to many of my ego deaths. His birth was written in the stars in more ways than one.
If you're a lightworker who wonders if you have the courage to make the decision you need to make on your trailblazing path, may this episode inspire you.*Scroll to find the transcript for this episode.
Listen to the podcast episode via your favorite listening app HERE.
In this episode…
00:00 Welcome to Legacies of Light
00:10 A Life-Changing Decision
02:08 Journey to South Korea
02:52 The Teaching Career
04:38 The Pregnancy Revelation
05:50 The Birth of My Son
08:35 Astrological Insights
10:38 The Impact of Scorpio
15:29 Conclusion and Contact Information
Transcript for My ego death & awakening to my life purpose
[00:00:00] Hello and welcome to the Legacies of Light podcast, the podcast for lightworkers who are remembering why they came here to earth. I'm your host, Josette LeBlanc. And today I am going to talk about a major decision point that I faced at a pivotal time in my life. And the reason why I want to share this with you is because I know so many lightworkers face the decision point of moving towards their lightwork.
[00:00:28] Or staying in the matrix, for lack of a better word. They, there's often a point where they need to make a move, or where you need to make a move, make a decision, to let go of something that is no longer working, in order to move toward what you were meant to do.
[00:00:48] Your mission you can call it your soul work, whatever you want to call it. You might be feeling this right now, or this might resonate with a story you have also. So I thought that by sharing my story I could inspire you to either take the first step in the direction of your light work, or perhaps give you insight into what's required or what it might look like
[00:01:14] to move towards that light and towards that decision point. So the story and the reason why I'm sharing this story today is because my big point of decision centers around the birth of my son. And I'm recording this right around his birthday. And so every time this date comes around, it's a very reflective time for me, of course, as you can imagine.
[00:01:45] And so I thought I'd tell you the story of how he came to be and what the other poignant results of his birth were on my decisions, on other decisions I had in my life.
[00:02:00] So let's get started. So I want to just set the stage for where I was before I knew I was pregnant. In 2005, I moved to South Korea to pursue a teaching career.
[00:02:12] In 2005, I don't think I would have said that. I was coming to Korea to travel. To learn more about teaching, to make money, let's be honest, cause I had some debts to pay off and it just felt like for my Sagittarius rising spirit, it just felt perfect. And so in 2005, me and my backpack alone landed in South Korea with a teaching position.
[00:02:37] And I didn't realize this is what was going to happen, but I fell in love with teaching. I fell in love with South Korea. I even fell in love with a man and got married eventually. And I've been there ever since. So now I'm recording this in 2023. So during that time, my career in teaching just kept, I kept going up the ladder, so to say, so to speak.
[00:02:59] And I had been teaching in a university for, about eight years before I, my pregnancy and in those eight years I was, I worked in different departments. I worked teaching English conversation. I then moved into teacher education where I would work with English teachers who came to our university to improve their English speaking ability and their English teaching skills, right?
[00:03:27] And I got my master's in TESOL, teaching English as a second language. I got a teacher training certificate, all the things, so you could see me progressing up the academic ladder. But I was, progressing up the ladder and thought it was my calling. I really felt teaching was my calling.
[00:03:44] If you look back at all my posts and everything I wrote about back then on social media and my blog, I was in love with teaching, right? It was my calling. It was what I was meant to do. But there was this deep dis-ease within me, high anxiety. I also felt resentment for certain things that I thought I had to do even though I was the one volunteering for it.
[00:04:07] And I was just deeply unsatisfied in a way that I couldn't really explain. And in that experience of dissatisfaction and anxiety, I was also getting older and contemplating whether or not I should have a child. I was married at that point and, every year that I got older, the feeling of the decision of whether or not to have a kid got stronger and stronger.
[00:04:38] And in my 39th year, so that was 2017, it was really loud. This question of, should I have a child or shouldn't I have a child? And I hadn't even tried because I didn't want to make a mistake, right? It was not something that we were trying, but so I was on my meditation pillow really in the feeling, the anxiety of this question.
[00:05:02] And I'd been meditating for a while. And so it was getting, I was better at calming my energy and calming my cyclical mind, that anxious mind. And I sat intentionally with the question, should we try to have a kid? Should we have a kid? And the the answer came back to me very simply, just try.
[00:05:20] And for the first time, that was the first time that I heard that. And it was the first time that I thought, yeah, why not just try? Because I know that the old self, prior to that, couldn't even conceive of trying, right? Couldn't even think of that because what if I did try and I did get pregnant and all the things that could happen.
[00:05:40] So I told that to my husband and of course we had a discussion and all these things and without going to the into too many details. On the first try I was pregnant. This is a lot of information to share with the public, but here we go. So clearly our son had been waiting and waiting for us to just get on with it So there I was pregnant, tried, 39 years old And of course, I'm very grateful that it was that easy.
[00:06:13] I know it's not that easy for so many people and it was a good pregnancy, felt good. And of course I was still teaching. And the idea of leaving teaching at the university had crossed my mind many times, but I just never knew what would I do? What is the other thing that I would do?
[00:06:33] I am a born teacher, right? I contemplated coaching and that was, felt exciting, but, and like the idea of entrepreneurship felt exciting, but it also felt so elusive. And so here I am walking down the halls, pregnant, about to give birth a few months later, and I'm walking down the halls and I hear a voice.
[00:06:55] If you walk down these halls with your kid at home, you are going to lose yourself completely. Your connection to your soul is going to be. So you will lose it. It will be very hard to reconnect your soul energy, to your intuition if you keep teaching with your child at home and I, having trusted my intuition, that voice in order to get pregnant, I knew that was not a voice to ignore at that point.
[00:07:27] I was in a coaching program at that moment. I was receiving coaching. And I was really exploring the idea of intuition and soul. And so I didn't take that voice lightly. So of course I discussed it. It didn't make sense. Why would I leave a secure position with great benefits, four months of vacation a year, all the things. I'm at the top of the ladder in the academic... not completely at the top, but like I had a great position. People wanted me there. I had no problem with the people I worked with. I loved the students. They were great. But I knew I couldn't ignore it. And so I spoke to my director and I asked if they could give me more time off so that I can think about it.
[00:08:09] And she came back and explained that no, all I could have was my maternity leave. And so that was it. I decided, okay, I'm done. I'm done. After I give birth, that's it. I won't come back. And so I worked with my director to hire somebody to replace me and that was it. Now, uh, that is absolutely one of the best, on top of like giving birth, but that was absolutely one of the best decisions I ever made.
[00:08:35] My son was born in November and that is Scorpio. He was born in the time of Scorpio. And as I was pondering his birth today, I was wondering, where is, the day of his birth, how does that land in my natal chart? And I was contemplating that because studying astrology is something that helps me get insight.
[00:08:59] And while I don't call myself an astrologer per se, I study astrology because it helps me understand cycles and it also helps me understand our natal chart is our soul blueprint. Basically, when you understand your natal chart, you understand your soul blueprint. This means it's a soul map.
[00:09:17] It's a, it's insight into your life and why you incarnated here, right? So this is something I refer to all the time and I do help clients with that also. So today, I don't know why I had never thought about that, but I was contemplating where did his birth land on my natal chart? And this is so wild. So I'm going to share this with you.
[00:09:40] And the reason again, I'm sharing this with you is because you might want to contemplate something similar for yourself. And if you need any help with that kind of contemplation, I offer spiritual mentoring for $444 a month. I can, I'll, I can explain more about that. I'll leave a link in the description.
[00:09:57] There's other various ways that I can help you understand your soul blueprint and help you work through that. Let me share what this means. Okay, what his birth meant to me. And it's no wonder that I quit my job when I was pregnant because of where his birth landed in my natal chart. So here we go.
[00:10:19] And please, don't worry if you're not into astrology, don't worry. You don't need to understand like the signs and everything I'm going to explain. Just listen to the energetic vibration of what I'm explaining. Listen to the meaning of what I'm explaining. Don't hang on to words like the planet names or the signs.
[00:10:36] Just listen to the energy of that, of what I'm explaining. So Scorpio energy. Scorpio is very much about the unseen, the underworld, looking at the depths of our subconscious, our unconscious, right? Very mysterious is a word, but mysterious, not for the sake of mystery, but because this is what life is. Life is mysterious.
[00:11:01] It is very hard for us to define. So people who are born in the sign of Scorpio definitely have this understanding of what it means to be human on a deep level... on a subconscious level. Now, if you consider that my work now is energy work is all about working with the unseen, the mystery the mystery of life and why we are here, why are we incarnating?
[00:11:28] What does it all mean, right? That is very much Scorpio energy. So my son was helping me tap into this energy. On top of that, Scorpio for me is in the 12th house. The 12th house. Here, let me read it to you. I have a description here from the book by Stephen Forrest called The Inner Sky, How to Make Wiser Choices for a More Fulfilling Life. I will leave a link for that book. It's an Amazon affiliate link in the description as well. So this is a description of the 12th house. It is called traditionally the House of Troubles, but what it represents is unstructured, unfocused, consciousness itself, events and experiences that disrupt our identification with personality, ego death.
[00:12:22] This is the 12th house. So Scorpio is already about the unseen and the Subconscious and then so Scorpio on top of that for me is in the 12th house, which is all about consciousness itself. It is the house of karma, meaning you know what we are carrying on from our past lives and what is specific here it is ego death.
[00:12:46] So I with the birth of my son was exploring an ego death. I was letting go of my identity as a teacher in the professional realm. I was letting go of my single hood. So myself as a single individual, even though I was married, I'm still independent. Now I'm carrying I'm about to birth a dependent.
[00:13:11] And so many ego deaths happened with the birth of my son. The very other, like on top of all this, so this is amazing. This is what he's bringing to my life. When he was born, Jupiter was in Scorpio and that aligns directly with Uranus, which is in my Scorpio. Uranus, okay, what does Uranus in Scorpio mean?
[00:13:40] According to the Time Passages app, which I love, by the way I'll also share the link for that. Uranus in Scorpio represents societal shakeups and innovation in the arena of psychology, sexuality and mysticism. Again, what is the work that I'm doing? Lightworkers are here to shake up systems.
[00:14:01] There's no way around that. We're trailblazers. We're here to make shifts in the status quo. How am I doing that? Through energy work, through exploring mysticism, through looking at astrology, looking at your soul chart, exploring what your intuition means and how it comes through you specifically, right?
[00:14:22] This also delves into psychology, your emotions and your behavior. There's no way to look at mysticism without looking at psychology. And Jupiter in Scorpio, so Jupiter is the planet of philosophy and Expansion and good fortune. So basically his birth was igniting good fortune for me in this realm.
[00:14:48] And it was because there was no way I felt such deep clarity to leave my work when I became pregnant or not when I became pregnant, but around the day of his birth. I knew that I couldn't continue living the life I was living. And it was through his birth that I was able to find the courage to finally move on to my path, to my real path.
[00:15:11] Now maybe I'm putting too much pressure on him for making this my reality. But there's no way around it. He, his birth was my awakening. And I am so grateful for that. I am so grateful. And so I hope this story inspired you in some way. Maybe it has clicked something or maybe you have more questions.
[00:15:38] What does this all mean? And what could that look like for you? Please leave me any comments, any questions. You have my contact details in the description. You can find me on Instagram at Josette The Alchemist. @Josette.TheAlchemist on Instagram. Or you can find my website, JosetteLeBlanc. com And of course you can find me at Intuition Immersion School.
[00:16:02] And I would love to support you in exploring your unique soul blueprint, especially as a lightworker and how you can also take the steps you are meant to take in your beautiful lightworker journey, your trailblazing lightworker journey. So thank you so much for listening. If you enjoyed what you heard today, please subscribe and I'll see you in the next episode.
