“You don’t trust yourself.”
She had me at, "you don't trust yourself."
Those were the magic words I didn't know I desperately needed to hear.
It was a perfect zen moment.
After months of practice and contemplation in our yoga/group therapy circle, I still felt like I was in a perpetual loop of doubt and anxiety. It was a cycle that had been going on for YEARS, and I was sure this yogic healing would finally help me bust out of it.
In this particular moment of doubt, I was talking to my yoga teacher about whether or not I should take yet another self-development course.
Scratch that… I was seeking her approval and permission. I wanted her to say, “Yeah, sure. That’s a great idea. It’ll help you really hone in on your confidence issues.”
Instead, she matter-of-factly said these four words that eventually opened the door for my intuition to blossom...
"You don't trust yourself."
Gobsmacked, tears streamed down my face. It was as if I saw my internal struggle for the first time. I mean truly saw it. I’d been waiting for this moment for so long.
It wasn’t my…
perfectionism,
people-pleasing,
overachieving,
high-functioning…
Those were just symptoms of the larger issue.
I didn’t trust myself.
Since that revelation, I've been on a quest to understand what it means to trust myself, and of course, what it means for all of us to trust ourselves.
OUR FEELINGS OF INADEQUACY
We all have our stories about trust or lack of it. They often revolve around how our parents were less than awesome when it came to modelling appropriate emotional literacy.
With parents who can't deal with the heavy emotions that come with being human, how are kids expected to learn? Our schools are definitely not taking on the task... but that's a rant for another time.
On a fundamental level, this concept of not trusting ourselves comes from feeling like we don't have what it takes...
to achieve what we want;
to make the right decision;
to make it.
As Richard Rudd writes about in The Gene Keys, on a deep, unconscious level, we believe we're inherently inadequate. While this shadow might slap some people in the face harder than others, this insecurity is in our DNA.
It's also wrapped up in the belief that we alone are responsible for the outcomes of our life. We believe that if we exert a certain amount of effort, on a specific timeline, we should be able to achieve the security and success we desire.
Is that true? As we all know so well, nope. It isn't.
The truth is, we're supported on a divine level. And that support is internal and magical.
SO WHAT DOES SELF-TRUST LOOK LIKE?
While this shadow of inadequacy may be in our DNA, it doesn’t mean we’re slaves to it. We have the power to move this shadow into the light. And we do this by understanding that self-trust is about…
Trusting the natural abundance of the Universe, which includes honoring the ebb and flow of life;
Facing your fear of the unknown;
Gathering evidence that trusting yourself and the Universe leads to positive outcomes;
Creating space to listen to your intuition and then acting on what it has to say.
In a nutshell, self-trust is about trusting our own resourcefulness. This doesn’t mean trusting our list of skills, or worrying about the lack thereof.
When you start to trust that the magic is in not knowing, you’ll see that on the other side of the unknown is an infinite well of divine reciprocity. And it contains more blessings than you could ever know.
Synchronicities will mysteriously pop up, serendipitous encounters will guide you, and you’ll find the exact support you were looking for.
HOW DO YOU TRUST YOURSELF?
Well, as I said, since my teacher hit me with that metaphorical zen stick, I’ve dedicated my life and business to figuring this out. And I think I’ve come up with a pretty good formula.
Here’s a brief taste:
Self-trust requires being able to…
listen to your intuition,
act on it,
receive feedback that acting on your intuition created a positive result,
believe in that feedback,
rinse and repeat.
And how do you do this?
I know. You want all the answers now. That’s how I felt, too. And if you stick around, you’ll learn a lot about this from me as it’s my favorite topic. So I’m not leaving you hanging.
In my next post, I'll reveal the two MAJOR decisions I made as a result of this revelation, so please subscribe to my newsletter to make sure you get it. If you already subscribed, make sure to keep an eye on your inbox.
PS. This post was inspired by Gene Key 48. If you aren’t familiar with Gene Keys, I recommend you Google this wisdom.